Living with bothersome tinnitus is a lot like walking along the edge of a raging river on a slippery, rocky riverbank, where at any moment, you could trip and fall in.
The rock up ahead that you are about to slip on is very much like an anxiety moment about to occur. The problem is that by the time most people realize what is happening to them, they haven’t just fallen in, they’re already half a mile down river.
In the face of intense anxiety, or a strong negative emotional response, it can be extremely difficult to maintain any kind of internal awareness of our emotional state so we can course correct.
We don’t usually see the rock we’re about to trip on, or even realize what is happening to us until it’s too late. When tinnitus anxiety builds, it builds fast. And it’s not only hard to remember our coping tools in these moments – it can be hard to remember we even have tools in the first place.
But with a little bit of training, and a lot of practice, you can dramatically improve your ability to notice when a negative emotional response or anxiety response is first starting so that you can intervene with a coping tool or coping action more quickly to stop the escalation.
I refer to this powerful combination as “Speed to Tools” and it’s a meta-skill that can be learned and perfected through practice.
Increasing Speed to Tools:
When you first notice that you are feeling anxious or having a negative emotional response, it can often feel like you went from 0-100% intensity in the blink of an eye. But that is never actually the case.
Anxiety and other negative emotional responses tend to increase exponentially over a short period of time, and most people are not able to notice when an anxiety (or negative emotional) response is first starting.
Instead, tinnitus anxiety often feels like a tidal wave crashing on top of you because by the time most people become aware of their emotional state, the anxiety response has already increased exponentially and hit its peak.
(This is true for other negative emotional responses as well, such as anger).
But you can train yourself to notice the anxiety response closer and closer to the moment it first begins. And if you can catch yourself quickly enough, and intervene with a positive coping action right away, you can stop the emotional response from escalating entirely.
Understanding the Coping Response Threshold:
When a tinnitus sufferer is first starting to experience a negative emotional response, there is a brief period of time where positive coping actions are much more likely to be effective.
This window of opportunity ends at what I refer to as the Coping Response Threshold. This is the point at which coping starts to become a much bigger challenge because your anxiety level is now increasing faster than your ability to calm yourself down.
Of course, it’s always possible to cope with an intense moment of tinnitus anxiety, even if you are experiencing a full-on panic attack. It just requires a much longer coping effort than people realize.
The goal is to improve your ability to catch an anxiety or negative emotional response when it’s first starting, so that you can do something to shut it down before you cross the Coping Response Threshold.
Coping Response training:
In my experience, the most effective way to improve your Speed to Tools is through repetition and classical conditioning.
All you have to do is choose a simple coping technique, and practice using it over and over again any time you notice your tinnitus, until the coping technique starts to become an automatic response.
It takes time, but with enough repetitions, you will start to find yourself reflexively using the coping technique at the first sign of trouble.
But remember, the negative response to your tinnitus is automatic too. Even after 13 years of successful habituation, I still occasionally react negatively to difficult moments of tinnitus. I can’t always prevent the world from affecting my ears, and the negative responses always occur whether I want them to or not.
The difference is that I have practiced this style of coping for so long, that when my tinnitus grabs my attention, I’m using a coping technique within a second or two.
And because I am able to react with a positive coping action so quickly, 90% of the time, it takes 60 seconds or less to calm my nervous system completely and get back to my day as if nothing happened.
Being able to shut down an anxiety response or negative emotional response before it has a chance to take hold of you is like a superpower – one that can help you to remain habituated over a lifetime.
Choosing a Coping Technique:
In my experience, any coping technique can become an automatic and conditioned coping response with enough repetition. But not every technique needs to be trained in this way.
So to give you a starting point, I recommend trying the Rewiring Tinnitus Reaction Technique. It’s a powerful coping strategy that is effective for tinnitus sufferers at all stages of the habituation process.
The Rewiring Tinnitus Reaction Technique:
(In my 1-on-1 tinnitus coaching practice, I teach this technique to all of my clients. Also, on my Tinnitus Relief Project audio album, the “Guided Tinnitus Spike Relief” tracks are a guided audio version of this technique.
I recommend practicing the following technique right away any time you notice your tinnitus, especially if you are experiencing a spike or fluctuation (however minor), or if you realize that it’s bothering you more than usual:
1) Stop what you’re doing, sit or lay down, and get comfortable.
2) Close your eyes, take 5 deep breaths, and relax your muscles as much as possible with each exhale.
3) Focus on your tinnitus and think about the time leading up to this moment. Recognize that a change has occurred: if you just noticed your tinnitus, or it just started to bother you again, that directly implies that you didn’t feel this way right before this moment. Ask yourself, “How much time has passed since I last felt this way?” And then answer this question as precisely as you can. Maybe you haven’t felt this way for the last 10 minutes. Maybe it’s been hours, or days. However long it’s been, this cognitive reframing technique will shift your perspective into noticing something positive.
4) Remind yourself that you were okay before this moment and that you will be okay again. The intensity of your suffering will calm back down – it always does. Difficult moments always pass eventually.
5) If you still feel that you are reacting emotionally, pick another coping strategy/tool and use it right away. Ideally, pick something that masks the sound, relaxes you mentally or physically, or distracts you.
Final Thoughts
Mastering Speed to Tools takes time, but it’s worth the effort because it can help you to manage difficult tinnitus moments much more effectively in the short and long term.
Anxiety and negative emotional responses are a normal part of life, but the key is to stop them from escalating into something more difficult to manage. Remember, it’s not about eliminating your reactions entirely – it’s about responding to them quickly and effectively.
The sooner you catch an anxiety or negative emotional response and use a coping tool, the easier it is to calm it down and regain control. With enough practice, you can train yourself to catch an emotional response right as it starts and shut down the escalation entirely.
And over time, this practice can help you remain habituated through whatever challenges life throws your way, no matter how much your tinnitus may fluctuate as a result.
